Sunday, April 26, 2009

The Five Love Languages: A Review

Cover of Cover via Amazon

I have recently read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I realize this book has been around for some years. I was motivated to read this book because it seems that more couples seek help through reading this book than any other.

It is a simple truth that it important to give your partner love if you wish to receive love. This book helps couples to realize that what you value as an expression of love may not be valued equally by your partner. Many women would appreciate flowers as an expression of love but my mother saw flowers as a waste of money. If my father brought home flowers, she would feel aggravated, not loved.

This book's value is that it sensitizes you to how you would like to be loved and makes you more sensitive to what your partner would like from you. However, I think this book implies too strongly that most folks have one primary language. Chapman implies that it is rare to be "multilingual" whereas I suspect that most of us can feel love that is expressed in many forms. Men are often seen as wanting love in the form of sexual intercourse. However, men actually want sex packaged in a warm, enthusiastic relationship. Men often complain about cold, "mercy sex."

A woman's ability to empathize allows her to detect love in many expressions. Wives often say that they "know" they are loved by observing indirect statements of caring that come in many forms. This said, I think it is important for partners to carefully consider what expressions of love are most valued by their mate and The Five Love Languages will help you to identify this.

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

2 comments:

Olive Oil said...

Doctor Horton, please edit your posts for grammar. The mistakes are a distraction, and they take away from the content. Do the wives you write about share the husband?

Lee Horton, Ph.D. said...

Thanks Olive Oil (love the moniker), I have redone the post which will hopefully make it clearer.