Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Three Reasons To and Not To Text Your Partner

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Our phones have become an essential part of our lives. For many, texting is a preferred way of communicating, much like instant messaging and emailing replaced telephone calls for delivering a message.

Texting provides couples with an opportunity to connect much more frequently than when only phone calls were available. Texting is efficient and doesn’t  require each of you to be available at the same time. Here are three ideas for communicating through texting that can enhance your connection.

  1. Just as leaving love notes around your home can be a pleasant surprise, texts can serve the same purpose. Leaving very brief messages of love can be a reminder that you are thinking about your spouse and that the relationship is a priority.
  2. Texting can be useful for reassuring your partner of your whereabouts or when you will be home. This can show consideration and help planning for time together.
  3. Texting can be a way of flirting. Just as a physical touch can trigger strong sexual responses, so can flirtatious texts trigger a similar response.

Unfortunately, many couples use texting when they should be talking to one another. Here are three examples of the misuse of texting.

  1. Remember that texting cannot convey complicated emotions. Don’t try to express your feelings through texting because you will fail to deliver the complete message. Research tells us that the nonverbal element is more important than the verbal component of the message and texts omit the nonverbal element completely! If you text your feelings, your partner will place his or her own sound to your words and your voice will be lost.
  2. Don’t use texting to convey ideas, views or desires that cannot be expressed in a few sentences. Anyone who has written for electronic media will tell you that folks speed read and only grasp a small portion of your message. Can you tell me the three useful means for texting without looking back?…I didn’t think so…see my point.
  3. Never have an argument through texting. Again, you will lose the essential nonverbal element that is conveyed through tone of voice, facial expression and posture. If your partner tries to initiate a disagreement or takes up an argument from the past, simply reschedule the discussions by texting, “Let’s talk about this at home tonight.” Be careful to reschedule the discussion and to follow through so that your partner doesn’t feel blown off.

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