Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Why Is This Relationship So Much Work


You recall a time when the relationship seemed so easy. You blended together. Conversations went on and on effortlessly. Your views, feelings and desires almost seemed in sync. Your bodies seemed to be magnets drawn together by a force operating within. Everything seemed so effortless.

Now that relationship seems a distant past, leaving behind a daily effort to create some connection in a swirl of tasks, activities and a myriad of electronic distractions. Why is it so hard to connect when you both feel love but not close.

The answer to this is that your relationship was a priority for each of you when you were pursuing each other's heart, but now you have competing priorities that have pushed the relationship aside. Once you have your partner's heart, you look to other things you want. You want many things!

You want to rest after work, you want time for your hobbies and interests, you want to connect with friends at the bar or on Facebook. Their are many things you want that you don't have. And you've got your partner, safe and secure...right?

You incorrectly assume that connection achieved is connection maintained. Emotional, physical and sexual connection is fragile, even in a long-term, committed relationship. If you and your partner don't nourish the relationship it will first lose vitality, then become a shell held together only through your commitment to remaining together.

Ask yourself if you have continued to make your relationship a priority. Do you carve out time and energy for the relationship or does the relationship only get what's left over. If so, plan to change this. Commit to connecting with your partner through talking, touching, playing and having sex. Oh yeah, those things you did when you fell in love.


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