Minimizing the Effects of Shock During a Marital Crisis

Learning that your marriage could end is overwhelming. When your body is seriously injured , it can go into shock in order to preserve your vital organs. Psychological shock serves a similar purpose. Your ability to process information becomes muted. You feel as though you are on automatic pilot; it is a struggle to do the basic tasks of life.

Psychological shock helps you to absorb reality slowly. Information seeps into your awareness instead of flooding you with more information than you can handle.

The following guidelines are to help you understand your response:

• Understand that your reaction is normal and not a sign of emotional disturbance.


• Avoid trying to make any important decisions while you are in this state.


• Reduce stimulation by "quieting" your environment. For instance, you may temporarily need time away from parenting responsiblities.


• Seek social support from family and friends. Do not seek this support from your partner.


• Focus on basic self-care activities like sleep, eating well, and simple activities. Reduce your expectations of yourself!


• Avoid telling yourself that your are depressed or suffering from a mental disturbance.


• Reassure yourself that your reaction is normal and you will recover your normal mood.


• Remind yourself that a marriage crisis is not an emergency. Let your partner know that you are not ready to make any important decisions at this time.