- Not doing your "homework" between sessions
- Only thinking about and processing the issues while you are in session
- Avoiding true participation in session and keeping everything "light"
- Trying to run the therapy yourself by determining what you "can" and "can't" talk about
- Being a sporadic visitor to counseling
- Hiding information from your counselor
- Undermining counseling by picking fights, minimizing what the counselor teaches, and bad behaviors
- Being a "yes man" - saying yes to what your counselor teaches and then not doing it
- Refusing to make behavioral changes
- Being disrespectful of the counseling directly or indirectly when not there
- Blaming (overtly or covertly) your partner for everything
- Not allowing your couples' counselor to speak to your individual therapist
- Dropping out of therapy without processing the end with your counselor
I enjoy Kim Leatherdale’s, LPC, ATR-BC, NCC blog, Creating Rewarding Relationships
In a recent post she lists some of the signs of a lack of commitment to couples counseling. I think this is an excellent list and hope you will also check out her signs of commitment to couples therapy.
A lack of commitment can reflect one partner’s power being the deciding force in seeking therapy. Take time to agree on seeking therapy, even if this means delaying choosing a therapist.


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1 comments:
Marriage counselling continues to be identified by many people with different points of views. Some are brought with the concept that marriage counselling is made for couples who have problems in relationship or are on the brink of splitting up. Additionally, a number of people believe that getting any kind of counseling isn’t a necessity in that people ought to keep their problems to themselves and do not want to have their soiled laundry strung out in public places. Some consider it an embarassment as sensitive information about the partnership of both partners is given to a stranger. Nonetheless, when does a couple need to go to their marriage therapist, and is it necessary in order to endure the difficulties of marriage?
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